Hate Mail We Love: Bolt Barbers Bungles

Traditional comb over. Banned by Bolt Barbers

Mohawk Matt received an e mail from this unhappy dude recently. Plans are afoot for his mohawking. Mohawk Matt also sent this dude a pre reading assignment which can be found at

Hey Matt,

I was in DTLA Bolt on Friday, had to get my hair cut, quickly, catch a plane to rochester to give a lecture. You were there. Missed my bus. Made my plane! Got stuck in DC, plane landed too late…bullshit.

But, it wasn’t as bullshit as when I looked at my damn head. I mean, yeah, I’m an asshole for wanting a 20-30 min haircut. I do blame myself. I thought it looked good as I walked out. I think I was still drunk from artwalk. Nah, just kidding, I don’t drink. I smoked a LOT of hash before I came in, had to make up for the time I was not smoking out here in the east coast! No excuse, i do that everyday. But shit man…I guess I asked for the worst fucking comb over in the history of man. I’ve been to Bolt twice. I was always happy going to Sweeney Todd’s, Todd does a hell of a job. But, woah, my last two haircuts at Bolt fucking ROCKED. So, this one…mostly my blame, but holy shit, I look like a fucking asshole. Lucky me, I was giving a lecture to a bunch of old scientists and museum curators. They are not known for their fashion sense. But damn, now I’m going to cancel visiting two of my old girlfriends, I don’t want to spoil the memory. oh shit…they video taped that lecture…now I’m going to be bought and sold looking like I’m desperate to keep every thin hair on my head…

OH SHIT! If I haven’t already made you crazy with my gibberish, it is time for it all to go. I would like you to do the honors. I, no…I NEED a major change in my life and I NEED you to bring me over to the world of mohawkness. Fuck this thinning hair. Fuck these DTLA hipnesses thinking I sit in my loft watching bill o’riley and punching puppies. Fuck everything about this fucking life that makes people judge you like a god damn book with a cover painted by thomas kinkade. I know I rule. time to start looking like it.

I get back from the east coast on Monday. What date and time can you give me the time to properly take this lumpy head full of thin ass hair and sculpt it into a thin stripe of pride, on top of this lumpy head?

Yours Truly